William Borden

DIRTY LAUNDRY

(A laundromat, a bit worse for the wear. The swish of a washer, the thump of a dryer. BOB sits in a chair reading a magazine. SERENA enters carrying a suitcase. She wears an old raincoat, jeans, a man’s shirt. She heaves the suitcase onto the folding table, takes out wadded-up clothes, shoves them into a washer.)

SERENA
You got change?
(BOB gives a nod to the change machine on the wall.)

BOB
Change machine.

SERENA
All I’ve got is hundreds.

BOB
There’s a bank across the street.

SERENA
I don’t want to go to a bank. Just give me some quarters.
(She thrusts a bill at him.)

BOB
I don’t have change for a hundred.

SERENA
Keep the fucking change.
(BOB hands her quarters. She slides them into the washer.)
Soap?
(BOB points to the dispenser on the wall. She grabs his box of soap. She removes her shoes and socks and throws the socks into the washer. She takes off her jeans and shirt and throws them into the washer. BOB stares at her.)
Do you mind?
(He looks at his magazine. He watches her over his magazine as she takes off her bra, puts on her raincoat, takes off her panties, throws the bra and panties into the washer, and starts the washer.)

BOB
That raincoat’s pretty dirty.

SERENA
If I wash it, it won't be water repellent.

BOB
If it’s water repellent, then the water won’t hurt it. It’s just dry cleaning that ruins the repellent quality.

SERENA
Thanks for your input.

BOB
You live around here?

SERENA
Passing through.

BOB
Aren’t we all. Passing through. Passing through life. From birth to death. From life to life, maybe.

SERENA
What are you, a Buddhist?

BOB
I entertain possibilities.

SERENA
What does that mean?

BOB
I’m open to experience.

SERENA
Experience.

BOB
New things. New ideas. You rob a bank?

SERENA
My husband.

BOB
Is he after you?

SERENA
I haven’t stopped long enough to find out.

Selected Works

FULL-LENGTH PLAYS
DON'T DANCE ME OUTSIDE
Butch, a novelist, and Ardis, an architect, begin an affair. They reveal their pasts, fantasize their future, call their spouses, fight, risk, and love.
MANY WORLDS
Maggie has to tell Axel that she has terminal cancer, as Axel explains the "Many Worlds" theory of quantum physics, and from time to time "other worlds" open up, some involving Maggie's husband.
TAP DANCING ACROSS THE UNIVERSE
A college professor who wants to run away from home gets his chance when he and his wife are visited by a would-be shaman, a runaway mother, and a hippy.
MEET AGAIN
A romantic comedy that takes a playful, sexy look at reincarnation. "Insightful and delightfully wacky," Jason Fogelson, New York Shakespeare Festival.
GOURMET LOVE
How long can Sally and Arnie keep their affair from their spouses, who are having an affair of their own?
BLUEST REASON
Lewis and Clark air their conflicts and hire a pregnant guide.
TEN-MINUTE PLAYS
GUNNING FOR LIFE
An old man's lust for life confronts his terminal cancer in an unusual comedy with a poignant ending.
DUET FOR VIRTUAL PARTICLES
A man wonders if he's an alien. A woman wonders if she's too tall.
DIRTY LAUNDRY
A woman wearing only a raincoat gives a would-be writer something to write about.
QUARKS
A man and a woman meet at a singles bar. His "Take off your panties," gets unexpected results.
SOMETHING LIGHTER
A couple finalize their divorce. Or do they?
THE BLUES STREET JAZZ CLUB REHEARSES
The loves of five would-be musicians intertwine like strands of music, improvised and unpredictable.
LUNCH
Should Bob and Bella tell their spouses they know their spouses are having an affair?
RECOGNITION
Two high school sweethearts, with their spouses, meet for lunch after 25 years.
HANGMAN
A condemned man must build his own gallows. He helps his executioner write a poem.
ONE EVENING IN PRAGUE
Albert Einstein, an up-and-coming physicist, meets Franz Kafka, a little-known author, .
FALLING
The thoughts of a Jew and a Muslim who fell from the World Trade Center the morning of September 11, 2001.
MUSE
Cal, plagued by writer's block, calls for a muse. He gets Ron.
THAT GUY FROM THE BERGMAN FILM
It may be Cassy's last day, but she hasn't lost her sense of humor as her family gathers around.
THE ALIEN HYPOTHESIS
If Larry is an alien, as he suspects, why haven't the aliens told him?
JUMPING
A man and a woman rejected by love fall in love before one jumps into the ice-covered Mississippi and the other jumps into the praxis of politics.
LEDGE
Mary could jump and end it all if Tom, who also wants to jump, would get out of her way.
ONE-ACT PLAYS
GARAGE SALE
Warren's starting over. He's selling everything.
PATRIOTS
Two men talking--terrorists or undercover agents?
I WANT TO BE AN INDIAN
A white liberal who wants to be an Indian gets his chance.
APPLES
A deconstructed Garden of Eden where Adam finds Lilith, and Eve and Satan reach an understanding.
COCKTAILS, DINNER
Should Sally and Arnie tell their spouses about their affair? Or will it spoil dinner?
IT'S SO WOWOO
Larry wonders if he's an alien. If he is an alien, why haven't the other aliens told him?
HERE TODAY, GONE TOMORROW
A teenager wonders if a homeless man is really Jesus.
AFFAIRS OF RECKLESS HONOR
Six women re-enact the duels of an earlier age

Quick Links

Find Authors