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AFFAIRS OF RECKLESS HONOR The beginning... (A restaurant. A tree grows in the restaurant. Pairs of swords decorate the wall. The kitchen is visible from the eating area. The time is the present; the décor is nineteenth century France. CONSTANCE, the server, BARBARA, the hostess, and LOUELLEN, who busses dishes, pass back and forth in the background from time to time but are never in sight when looked for. THERÉSE, the chef, busies herself in the kitchen but, like the others, may often disappear. CONSTANCE, BARBARA, THERÉSE, and LOUELLEN wear period costumes. LORETTA and JANICE wear modern dress. LORETTA sits at a restaurant table. JANICE enters, looks around uncertainly.) BARBARA Welcome to The Castle. JANICE Interesting décor. BARBARA Nineteenth century France. The age of war and peace, artists and courtesans, Madame Bovary and Crime and Punishment, affairs of honor and affairs of dishonor, dames and duels. JANICE Do you duel? (Crash of dishes breaking, off.) BARBARA Only when I have to. Are you meeting someone? JANICE There she is. (Another crash, off. BARBARA exits. JANICE seats herself at LORETTA'S table. An awkward silence. Another crash, off.) BARBARA (Off.) What's going on? LouEllen? THERÉSE (Off.) How do you expect me to cook? (LOUELLEN, in background, enters, sweeping a pile of broken dishes across the floor.) LOUELLEN You call that cooking? (LOUELLEN exits, sweeping most of the dishes before her. THERÉSE appears in the kitchen.) THERÉSE You call that washing the dishes? (BARBARA appears.) BARBARA (To THERÉSE.) I put quiche on the menu, Therése, but there is no quiche. Where is the quiche? THERÉSE I don't feel like quiche. BARBARA People expect quiche. THERÉSE Real women don't eat quiche. (THERÉSE exits the kitchen. BARBARA exits. LOUELLEN enters and sweeps out the rest of the dishes. Awkward silence.) LORETTA You're wondering why I asked you to meet me. JANICE You said lunch. LORETTA Yes, although— JANICE I'm hungry. LORETTA Good. But what I want to talk to you about— JANICE Really hungry. LORETTA This isn't easy for me… JANICE Really really hungry. LORETTA I suppose it won't be easy for you either… JANICE Starved. LORETTA But I felt I had to do it. And later... THERÉSE I cannot work like this. LORETTA I couldn't let it go on any longer. BARBARA Work? I've never seen you work. You haven't created a new dish in years. You watch Emeril during your break, and then you pretend to come up with a new invention. You're lazy, you're derivative, you're pretentious. You're as out of date as last year's buttermilk. (THERÉSE slaps BARBARA.) Did you just slap me? (THERÉSE slaps BARBARA again. BARBARA grabs a sword. THERÉSE grabs a sword. They duel—kitchen, dining area, everywhere. The others ignore them.) |
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